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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Bill and … hang on a minute 

Someone has stolen one (or perhaps two) of the plant pots from my front garden. It wasn’t expensive and didn’t contain anything grand. I’m not even that upset that they’ve taken it. I only noticed when I stepped out of my house this morning and thought my front garden looked a bit sparse.

I’m just really puzzled. I mean, it’s a plant pot, why bother?

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Monday, April 19, 2010

You mean it isn’t International Dress Like a Pimp Day? 

Tonight I will be going out after work to see Mamma Mia! so I have dressed up a bit; I’m wearing a proper jacket, black trousers and a black shirt. I thought it worked when I looked in the mirror but, as I left the house, the uneasy thought popped into my head that I looked like a 1970s pimp.

As I took a few steps down the road I began to realise, as well, that the new trousers I bought were just a shade on the wrong side of snug and the “pimp” thought began to well and truly bed in.

The thought was magnified by the “naked” feeling I get whenever I go somewhere without my laptop bag, which I decided to leave behind because I was going out, and then further by someone at the bus-stop giving me a very peculiar look.

As I waited for the bus, that thought ran round my head, “I am dressed like a pimp”, but by then it was too late and I decided to brazen it out, walking brazenly onto the bus and then on to the train.

It was only when I sat down that I realised why the bloke at the bus-stop had given me a funny look.

My flies were undone.

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Fingernails 3 

How on earth do you keep the blessed things clean?

And why does my left thumbnail grow so slowly?

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Monday, April 12, 2010

Fingernails – part two 

I haven’t bitten my nails in over a week. 10 days in fact. I do still desperately want to bite them but I don’t.

It is partly due to the horrible tasting paint but, oddly, partly due to the fact that I actually have white ends to my fingernails for the first time in living memory and knowing that if I bite them they (and the pride in knowing I haven’t bitten them) won’t be there anymore.

To answer Nigel’s earlier question from the original nail biting post – I think the taste of the paint varies from product to product. The one I have been using (I don’t have it with me and I can’t remember what it’s called) is more unpleasant than horrible on a subjective scale and it’s more of an aftertaste than a taste. It’s reminiscent of the way your mouth feels the morning after you’ve eaten a curry and you’ve been sleeping with your mouth open all night.

One downside of having nails for once is that when I scratch my head I have to be careful . It can actually hurt now.

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Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Nail biting 

I bite my nails.

There, I’ve said it. I have confessed. I am nearly 46 and I bite my nails.

This is not a habit I particularly like or want and, when a colleague of mine mentioned that he was trying out something to help him stop, I thought I would give it a try.

I bought something from Boots. It took a bit of finding as it wasn’t anywhere I would expect and in the end I had to ask someone who led me to the manicure section. I, with my man’s brain, never notice these areas and didn’t know such a thing existed. I was looking in more medical areas.

It was the right stuff as well as it said right at the bottom of the label at the back that it could be used by men to help them stop biting their nails. You’re supposed to paint it on and then whenever you take a bite you get a nasty taste in the mouth.

I have been using it for a few days and I have to say that it feels silly to paint this stuff on. It is colourless but makes my nails as shiny as anything so, of course, I worry that people will notice.

That said, it seems to be working. I haven’t bitten my nails since I started using it. It is partly to do with the bad taste but is probably more to do with the odd feeling on my nails. I can feel something there and it makes me aware enough of my nails to make me less likely to absent-mindedly bite them.

I also find that putting any part of my finger anywhere near my mouth seems to result in either a nasty taste or the anticipation of a nasty taste and prevents me from, say, digging around in my mouth for something caught in my teeth. This is another bad habit of mine so it probably isn’t a bad thing although having second thoughts about flossing probably isn’t such a good idea.

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