Strange Thoughts of a Strange Man

I recently bought Electric 80s, a compilation album of odd little 80s songs, most of which are 12" remixes (remember those?). I bought it partly as a nostalgia trip but mainly for one track by The Mobiles called Drowning in Berlin which probably sits in my loft in all its unplayable vinyl glory.

However, the first track on the first disk is a 12" remix of Soft Cell's Torch. I was never a big fan of Soft Cell but the song is not too bad. However, this 12-incher is a little silly. In the middle there is a conversation between an extremely camp and breathy Marc Almond and some girl from Essex. She sings later, making the girls from Human League sound good in the process. This spoken section cracks me up every time I hear it. It is just so awful. Marc Almond should stick to singing.

The lyrics for the whole extended song are, of course, available on the web, can be found here but here's the spoken bits:

Marc Almond: When I first met you. You looked like Billie Holliday. Had that nude backless dress the one with the sequins and the single white gardenia
Essex Girl: I was probably drunk and had no make-up on
MA: Oh, but you had such style
EG: Really?
MA: Nice words you sang. It was probably my life's story
EG: It was mine too
MA: I remember I drank too much and made a fool of myself
EG: You looked OK to me but when you get like me you know you're in trouble
MA: I wanted to grab you and kiss you but I thought you'd hit me [We believe that don't we children?]
EG: Too right, baby